The Power of a Word by Amanda

I have heard it said once before that when we don't know how to run to God with our problems, we break those down around us. In my past, I have used my words to break all those down around me. I was brutally honest and would hurt those around me with my honesty. Then say, well it's truth. Truth at whose expense? I am learning while the truth is important there is a way to say things and my truth may not be the truth at all. Just because I am sober does not mean I am not still in a process of learning and making mistakes along the way. Yesterday I called someone a liar and it really hurt their feelings. I didn't run to God first with this situation and I just spurted out of my mouth the words "liar". After hearing more of the situation and their side of things I got a better understanding of how the events unfolded. Talk about feeling like a big but hole. I am learning my words have the power to hurt and break down another person. Trust me when I say calling someone a liar is on the better side of the things I have called others. I have been reflecting and doing soul searching since yesterday on what I could have done differently. Not beating myself up because it was a mistake and I have apologized. The lessons have a way of coming back around until I learn them. This is a lesson I really want to learn because I have been broken down by others' words. I know how it feels and I don't want to be the one to do it to another person anymore. Old ways and habits seem to somehow resurface when I am not in a state of awareness. That is what I love about being in recovery. There is a difference between sobriety and being in recovery. Recovery is about checking myself and the things that I do on a daily basis. It's getting deeper within myself and having the courage to change the things I don't like. It's about learning from my mistakes and growing in the process. It also helps me be grateful for my past addiction and even more grateful for being in recovery. I don't know that I could have had one without the other or for the opportunity to dig so deep within myself and the courage to step into change.